Chapter Thirty-four There Is Only Love

THERE IS ONLY LOVE

I had a shock recently, if something that my instincts already knew can really be described as a shock. Someone that I loved with all my heart had been lying to me. What made it worse was that I have known, in my heart, that I was being lied to and when having asked, several times, for the truth, was repeatedly told that my instincts were incorrect. Believe it, for someone who values her intuition as much as I value mine, this was torture.

In sitting with the pain both of the betrayal and the attempt to distance me from my knowing I have been taken very directly back to my childhood; to a time when I gave absolutely all of my heart and soul to my father who for reasons of his own was not able to see my love as the shining and incomparable gift it actually was.

I am writing about this today, after a fairly long absence, not because I want or need to share my pain; I realize there is plenty to go around right about now. No, I share this because in sitting with and honoring the pain I realized today that lo those many years ago I concluded and continuing on until this very day there lived in my body the belief that it was wrong to give all my love and all of myself when, in fact, it was right and perfect and could not have been any other way.

I know there is a veritable ton, in fact, one hundred million tons of pain that is being felt and lived today. Believe me, there are times when my body feels all of our pain so intensely it is almost unbearable. I know how you are feeling if you are reading these words and my heart goes out to you in friendship, kinship and in love. But for the part of you that is striving and learning and healing and wanting to wake up please know that we are never wrong to be in our hearts. We are never wrong to give all of ourselves and all of our love even if it would appear that it is not appreciated or recognized or cherished. There is only love; sometimes it is so incredibly intense that it feels like the most beautiful and profound pain. I know. And in these times we can ask for help, we can feel, we can breathe, we can remember and if at all possible we can have faith that love is the way through the pain-to the honoring of ourselves and to the beauty and joy that I know, in my heart, are our birthrights.

So to everyone and anyone who is cold or hungry or frightened or feels alone, hurt or unloved tonight-I love you and I am holding you in my heart as tenderly and dearly as I can right along with the parts of myself that are in pain and frightened as well.

Keep the faith...

To be continued...